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Making Changes When You Feel Stuck in Life

Making Changes When You Feel Stuck in Life

Making Changes When You Feel Stuck in Life

The holidays are over and things have settled down. Maybe your bonus came in, you accomplished your career goals and hit those financial milestones. People at a certain age or life phase feel stagnant or stuck in various facets of life. Perhaps you achieved everything you wanted to, either personally or professionally. Throughout your life you were always focused on what’s next, reaching towards a goal. But now you’ve accomplished those goals and feel a sense of stagnation. It’s time to pivot to a different focus, mix things up, and make life changes.

 

At a Crossroads

If you’ve accomplished all of your goals, financially, academically, professionally, or with relationships and family, you might be asking yourself, “now what?” Your whole life has been focusing on accomplishing the next goal and the next, and now there’s nothing left on your list of big-picture goals. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are at a crossroads. The time has come for you to make a decision:

 

Slow Down & Relax

You can either be content in your complacency (and there’s nothing wrong with that) and focus on relaxing and enjoying life as it is. It’s OK to allow yourself to relax and slow down. It doesn’t mean you are coasting, it means you are being present and enjoying what you’ve worked towards. Let it be and enjoy it for what it is, but keep open for opportunities that pop up and new things to explore. 

 

Create New Goals & Make Changes

If you feel like you can’t stay in this state of mind, like you’re stuck in a rut, and need to make big changes, you have to create new goals. What parts of your life feel stuck or boring? Do you need to move? Change careers? Or grow as a person? Maybe your whole life has been doing what your family and society want of you, instead of what you want to do for yourself. Now is the time to figure out what you want and make a plan.

 

Looking Inward

Anytime we make big life decisions, it’s important to reflect on our values and priorities. Have they changed at all? What are your current values and priorities? What do you do to nurture them? What do you want out of life for yourself? Understanding your values and priorities and what you truly want will help you make the right decisions and figure out your path forward. What’s in your control and that you can change? There is a lot in our lives that is not in our control, so it’s important to understand what we do have influence over and what we need to let go of trying to control. Read more about letting go of control here.

 

Looking at the Big Picture

Focusing only on one facet of your life can lead to greater feelings of stagnation. Many people will spend the majority of their lives creating a roadmap for just one part of their life. They want a family, so the majority of their goals pertain to that. Or they want the dream job, so all of the goals have to do with academics and career. But when you accomplish all of those goals, it can make you feel lost like there’s nothing left to do. Take a step back and look at the other areas of your life. Are there ways you can improve upon different areas of your life? Can you be creative with making changes? Can you take some (healthy) risks to improve those parts of your life? When you allow yourself to look at the big picture, it can help you make decisions you never thought you’d make.

 

Growing as a Person

As we move through life, it’s common to focus on external goals: college – check, dream job – check, house – check, kids – check. But our personal growth is often forgotten about. If you are feeling stuck in a rut, ask yourself, “How can I grow as a person?” Do you feel like you don’t have the opportunity to learn anything new? Are there new skills you can learn? Classes you can take? What interests you on a personal level? Use this point in time for self-exploration and discovery. Try new hobbies and activities. You might find something that unexpectedly fulfills you in a new way. 

 

Career Changes

You got the dream job and have been at it for a while. Or maybe the industry has changed and you’re not enjoying it as much. Or you’ve run out of ideas and are feeling a lack of growth. You feel apathetic because you are just living the grind, and by the time you get home you’ve only got a couple of hours to dedicate to your personal life. Instead of just focusing on what you don’t like and what you can’t change, can you pivot your career? Can you switch fields altogether? Can you go off the beaten path and allow yourself to do it? Sometimes a sacrifice, like a pay cut, longer commute, or shift in your routine, is required for an overall improvement in your daily life when it comes to a career change. It can be scary to make big changes, but remember that nothing is permanent. You can always switch back if the change you made wasn’t right for you. 

If you know you want to change jobs or your career but it’s making you anxious, read this blog post on managing anxiety when you feel stuck in your career.

 

Looking for Community

In the past people were more likely to stay in their communities. Nowadays people disperse, and the ones left behind feel more isolated. That isolation can push the need for a life transition. If you feel stuck because of where you live and are longing for a sense of community and belonging, consider mixing things up and moving to another state or region. It can be a fresh start in a fresh place with fresh people. It might offer more opportunities for building community, meeting new people, and finding others who share your belief systems and are more aligned with your values. A new location might also provide different or more opportunities for you to change your lifestyle so it aligns with your current needs and priorities. Remember, nothing is permanent. You can always move back or move again to a new place.

 

Changing Relationships

Relationships are a big factor for how we plan our lives. Maybe it’s time you start a family or maybe it’s not in the cards for you. If you are single and spent years looking for a romantic partner, but it just hasn’t worked out, it might be time to reflect on how you move forward into singlehood. Whatever your situation, there are things you can’t control and things you can. Reflect on what is in your control and how you want to shape your life moving forward. 

 

Apathy Amongst Aging

It’s common to have a fear of major transition when you’re middle-aged or older, but as a result many people struggle with apathy and are sick of the daily grind. Isolation tends to increase because when you are in the retirement phase of life, that sense of community diminishes because people are moving away or dying. So how do you build a life or start over when you’re middle-aged or older? Don’t let that fear of the unknown prevent you from improving your life. Ask yourself, “would I rather live the way I have been and feel stagnant or would I rather give myself the opportunity to grow and live a better life?”

 

Find the Courage to Make Changes!

Big life transitions can be exciting and scary at the same time. Therapy can empower you to believe in yourself and find the courage to make positive change. Don’t be afraid to take chances. Therapy can help you figure out your values and priorities so you can live the life you want. Dr. Heather Violante provides teletherapy (online video therapy) to adults living in Florida and New York, as well as all PsyPact enrolled states (listed below). Contact her online or call (754) 333-1484 to request a HIPAA compliant teletherapy session.

 


 

Offering Online Therapy in 42 States

I am a licensed psychologist in the states of Florida and New York. Additionally, I have Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) from the PSYPACT Commission. I provide telehealth (online video therapy) to adults living in the 42 participating PSYPACT states listed below. For a list of current PSYPACT participating states, please visit the PSYPACT website at: https://www.psypact.org/psypactmap.

PsyPact enrolled states:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming